Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
