It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
