Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
