We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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