I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
