Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
