I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
