we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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