I think my vagina is haunted
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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