friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So many bounce houses so little time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
