it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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