some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize