i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
