well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
