so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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