Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The ass gains better be worth it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
