In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
