reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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