yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
