The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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