I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I currently don't understand fingers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
