You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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