Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
