Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my shit smells like andre
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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