i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
