talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
