And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
