Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
