It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize