It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
