Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
