it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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