its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
