Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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