I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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