my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
