you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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