I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
