I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
