i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize