he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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