i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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