Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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