What a fucking waste of an outfit
...so i touched it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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