I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The adults are the big ones right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
