whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
