I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
