if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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