there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
