I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
