I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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