At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
