Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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