I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
