Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You've changed since you got that strap on
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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