I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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