I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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