If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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