Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
