awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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