i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
