She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
