It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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