I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
