I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
